A gal`s gotta move on....

yooo...... i just needed a break.. and i decided to take a week... everyone knows break ups aren't easy.....
After morosely staying at home and all that crap... i started doing stuff to engage myself... stuff i consider fun... i went lazer tagging, bowling, salsa dancing and even to wonderland...
it was as if i was hiding from something u kno... i just had d fear of being alone... cuz i did`nt want to think about it or show any sign of weakness by crying...although i couldn't stop myself from going through the text messages we had together and slowly coming to the realization that the love craze wasn't reciprocal.... even from the very beginning... it was just me head over heels...n crazy about this dude and him replying with msgs...befitting a friend.. no romance nuffin... all my i miss u`s wer relied with an `lol`or ``dont forget to.....` i found myself boiling inside instead of keeping calm and decided to stop reading them...
It didn't help matter`s wen i noticed he wen he was online and stuff.... i cant help but despise him more..ok its kind of love and hate.. i think about the nice times we have spent together and how all of that was a lie...
I also keep hating myself for dating a young boy that doesn't know what he wants!! this would be my first and last time of doing this... there is no point really...
The more i`m alone and i reflect... instead of having lil ray`s of hope that we can work stuff out...i realize instead that`s not going to happen...
i mean i know in the throes of my anger i told him never to call me again.....
but the scary part is, he never did call again...
its weird oohh.. u claim you love someone and you can conveniently go a week without talking to them.... wth??!!
Newaiz.... they say absence makes the heart grow fonder... but in my case it hardens ever so slowly :(
what was the cause of this you ask... it all started with a simple sentence from him..`i do not see a future with you , we are just too different `
my reply was that why then did you date me all this while... like really.. wasting my fucking time and all.. its sooo unfair
but then again, i console my self and think that it could have been worse, he could have led me on for years den dropped me like a hot piece of potato when i was already in too deep... OK so if that's the good thing he did on his part i thank him for that.
Do`nt get me wrong he is such a sweet person and anyone one with him will be happy.. i`m just sad and pissed it wasn't me.. u know.. ohh wells
(my house mate just set the smoke detector off!!!! he is always cooking something!! lol)
yup... so i went salsa dancing at the flying dog on Thursday...and it was fun... with some Jordanian guy i`ve bin posting for a while... twas nice dancing the merengue and reaggeton.. had mad fun and met new people.. the setting was for an older crowd and i really liked this... met some Egyptian guy called zaid..that danced like a pro... pure fun!! numbers where exchanged... wen i got home that night he gave me a call...simple and nice and we decided to go to the movie`s sometime :)
Friday was UW goes to wonderland... had the best time ever ... went on about 8 rides!!! including the much talked about behemoth...lol..tasted funnel cake and i must say i didn't enjoy that shit!!! pure waste of $12 i can never get back!!!!! wth??


on my way with my friend paulina



we played games on the bus.. to keep us busy for the 45min drive.. i won a t shirt and paulina the towel..



took a pic at the international street ..lovely background..:)



funnel cake.... ewww... tastes like puff puff, strawberries and icecream...



Paulina and i getting our hype on!!!



our shirts!!! straight reppin`...



goofin`round with a friend.. :) good times...

didn't get to school until about 10pm... wen i got home i had to shower and go party it up at Caesar`s nightclub!! twas my friend`s bday and i had to be there...so i`m dressing up and zaid calls....what u up to and i tell him ... he offers to come over.. im like sure..(saves me on that cab expense lol) so we go to Caesar`s together... it was mad yo... throwback Friday!!! i was so in d mood to get loose..a couple of screwdrivers and a smoke.. yes!!! i faltered!! i`ve gotten to the part that i really dnt care anymore and i just had this urge to hurt myself... as i was getting help with lighting my stick from zaid.. my ex`s frnd comes over and stops me from smoking.. saying this is not me blah blah... i have to admit i was embarrassed but yuhh i told him i`m a different person now... yuhh let me smoke jare...lol... later on he did express his disappointment... he was asking me where his friend was and i`m like i do`nt know and do`nt care... i so didn't like his disapproving looks as i was grinding against zaid..lol..
ok...its 2am.. i wanna go home i`ve bin up since 7am!! so i go home and all.. the awkward silence in the car as i have reached my house... dis guy wants to get with me...duhh like i didn't see that before..boy was hard from all my grinding in d club... so yeah he tries and i..............