Act like a lady,Think like a man

So yuhhh... its bin say what...3 weeks now...
and i must say in the space of that time i have bin constantly misreable...
Seriously from crying at night to sleeping at 3am everyday...
I feel so bitter and used.. i swear.. my life looks bleak everyday... and if not for my friends i dnt know what i would have done to myself..
It even got to the point that i wanted to get satisfaction from inflicting pain on my self...Lord is this what it has come to??
He calls n he is like lets b friends and all.. i agree.. the malice was too much to bear for me..
so yuh he calls me n we talk and its all cool..He tells me he went to see transformers with a "friend" ... in my mind i know who this "friend" is...
duhh im not stupid.. while we wer dating i noticed the way he avoided her calls and txt msgs when we wer together... i friggin brought it up and told him that i noticed it.. and he denied it.. as always...
ok so lets be cool with each other abi... sure.. ild be a big girl and do that...
was off to the mall... to go get acetone nail remover from zellers... cuz i had toremove my falsies...(after one nail broke during an intense game of bowling a week before... it was so hilarious mehn... i rolled the ball and my nail went with it!!! classic lol)
I get down from the bus with my girlfriend and we run into him...
like seriously this town is too small for the both of us..
he comes over and greets us... then hugs me... i feel very akward...this is me trying to get a hold of my life and i run into u..like really...
My friend points out to him that his bus is here... he says he would catch d nxt one...
Again i feel real akwarad... long time he says... all i can do is nod..
Thank God for my friend's presence, she started talking about other stuff... i start getting a hold of myself and i actually talked to him...
i commend his new earfones... noise cancelling..ive always wanted to get them and he beat me to it... i rmbr wen he came over to my house and showed them to me...as i used them the whole day...i loved them...he promised to give me his old ones...the ones we saw wen we went shopping together..at this same mall !!!! lawd!!!!!
so im like "where are my earfones?"and i playfully punch him... Apparently he gave them to his friend to give me... i found this suprising bcos i didnt expect him to do that..even now that we have broken up..i smile and tell him i appreciate it...
i notice he wants to talk longer..but i told him we have to go...i hurriedly rush into the mall...
My friend and i jist together...about how odd and akward that meeting was...
and i still know deep down... damn i love this guy..
Im telling my friend how i would drop my pride and tell him we should work things out... and she gives me this book...Act like a lady,think like a man by steve harvey...
Its a real eye opener about relationships.. ild advice every girl to read it... dats all i can say...intresting from start to finish...read it in 2 days... i never wanted to drop it...
From reading that book,i stop being bitter about my situation...and come to realise that he actually cared bout me... he is just young and confused.. and it was the right thing i did.. also... i shldnt beg for anything.. if he is meant to be mine..we shall be back again... if not i should move on and stop crying over spilt milk....
i call him days after... hey whats up.. lets go see the taking of pelham 123..today.. u kno to clear the akwardness between us.... he is like uhh..he has to meet up with a friend...
and then the realization hits...ever so hard... this guy really doesnt give a damn about me sha...he is like he would call me later..so we could go.. i tell him not to worry.. ild find some one else...
I made a solem promise..never to call him again... or talk to him for six months... until im truly over this matter..
so i head on to school ooo... the usual,assignments then a meeting.. after the meeting tboi n i decide to go n eat...
i suggest my fave indian resturant on campus and we head on there...at the resturant we meet up with my girl...the one who gave me the book to read..
so we head inside... i order my usual and we are eating and jisting with loud voices...
And through the doors he walks in... yup.. and this time with the "friend" oohh yes i recognise her... ive facebook stalked his profile for 2weeks... so i knew it was her..
They both stroll inside and this is me thinking!!! how dare he?? bringing that uglyass bitch to my favorite resturant... he fucking knows its my favorite resturant! i friggin introduced him to this place!!!!!!!!!!!!! how could he???!!!!!
My friend grabs my hand and squeezes it...i have to be calm about this..
He walks over and greets us..and tries to hug me..but i reject him instead i bring out my hand for a shake..(akward moment part 2)
i continue the convo i had with my friends and then that little mouse aka "the friend" says "hi,my name is esther and im ghanian"... in my mind im like so fucking what?? u are ghanian so we must talk to u?? bitch please abegi commot make we hear word...
so they go and eat...i guess the atmosphere was too hot for them cuz they ordered take out...
My friend tries to confort me about how he is one useless undergrad student and how they are in the rain together..lol
and how i have a working class guy on my case who cares about me n had a faboulous thing going on for him..
Ive lost my appetite and i order my basmati rice and tandori chicken to be packed for me...
I NEED TO GET A FUCKING GRIP ON MYSELF AND MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!!
i go over to meet my friend/new guy... he has always been there for me...gosh...
he picks me from the train station and gives me a kiss and hugs me tightly... i feel so loved...
We get to his place and he has noticed ive lost weight..i havent smiled in weeks and now i smile because of him...
he dedicates a song to me...one time by charlie wilson ...i understand the lyrics.. he knows im stuck on the ex..and he wants to show me..how to feel love and be love in return..and i fall asleep in his arms...he is heaven sent..just what i need right now...



ps: any one who wants the book.. i have the ebook version..can can mail it to you.. :)
xoxo